Mrs. Far Above Rubies

I wrote this article a few years ago for our church newsletter, then submitted it also to our local newspaper and it was published! As every Mother's Day approaches, I think about mama and miss her so much, and so.... in honor of her, thought I would post this as today's blog.

Early in the morning December 26, 1995 as we gathered around Mama’s hospital bed , six of my 9 brothers and sisters, along with my dad and I joined hands to pray. My pastor-brother, Pat, began. “Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies, and so, Lord Jesus, we present to you Mrs. Far-Above-Rubies.” From that moment on, mama became to me, “Mrs. Far-Above-Rubies”. The irony of that is that mama always jokingly would say that she despised the “Proverbs 31 lady” — because no woman on earth could ever do that much in her lifetime!

The following Mother’s Day after her surgery I wrote her a letter. I noted that, while we had very little as we were growing up (with 9 children and a husband disabled with blindness, there weren’t a lot of funds to be had) I had a lot to be grateful for. I remembered many Christmases where I got just what I had asked for; a bible, a watch, a flannel nightgown, a music box, a bicycle (used—but new to me!). I also noted that we were never beaten or abused. I remembered special times — traveling with my folks and singing in some 48 states and Canada, seeing the Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone to name a few. There was a night when I couldn’t sleep, and although it was a school night, when I went downstairs my mom asked if I wanted to go for a walk, and we walked in the brisk winter night and enjoyed the beautiful snow falling down and talked. I remembered her showing up within days of the birth of my two beautiful daughters — although we were a good 10-12 hours away, and she drove that distance (doing all the driving because my dad was blind) in one day and then did the cooking and cleaning for a week or two while I recuperated.

Mama wasn’t perfect. But you know, as the years have gone by I’ve realized that I’m far from perfect myself. She made a lot of mistakes as a mom….. But so have I. She lost her temper. So have I. She said things that hurt her children. So have I. I’ve been able to look back and see that she didn’t have a perfect childhood, either, but she sure made great strides and came a long way from where she used to be. I watched her become less critical, less pessimistic and more complimentary of others...more forgiving. Mama actually DID have one of the greatest qualities of the Proverbs 31 lady….she feared the Lord. And you know, that’s reason to praise her, because “a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” (Prov. 31:30b)

Six weeks after we moved from Roanoke, Virginia to Sheridan, Indiana, “Mrs. Far Above Rubies” left earth to take up residence in Heaven. Those last six weeks that I was able to spend with her by her bedside were precious. She shared regrets about the kind of mom she’d not been to her children. I reminded her that we were all far from perfect, but that Jesus had forgiven her and she needed to forgive herself.

Another Mother’s Day will soon be here, and I want to say, “Jesus, please tell “Mrs. Far-Above Rubies” that I love her and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.” What will you do to honor your mother or her memory?

The Path of Life

I recently completed a Beth Moore study that was awesome. It was "Believing God". I highly recommend it to anyone -- even men! In it we were instructed to look back over our lives and write our 'history'. In doing so, I was incredibly blessed in remembering how God has been there all down thru my life. This year marks my 30th anniversary of graduation from high school. Next year will mark the 25th anniversary of graduation from college, and 25 years of marriage to Steve Martin! In looking back on all this, I've constantly been reminded of a verse that God gave me waaaay back then; that verse being, "Thou wilt show me the path of life. In thy presence is fullness of joy" (Ps. 16:11) And He HAS shown me the path....and it HAS been fullness of joy in His presence!

All of this has been stirred to remembrance in my mind as I face the graduation of my first-born from high school. I can't help but ask myself over and over: "Where have the years gone?" and "How can this child that I begged God for already be this old?" And I also ask, "Lord, what about that promise you made to return BEFORE they became teenagers?" (Smile).

So, as you see, I've been doing a lot of looking back -- but looking back in a good way. And in looking back and seeing how God has always been there, how He's directed my path, how He has blessed me with what I've needed, and some of what I've actually wanted, and He's been good. I'm glad I can look at all of it this way, as the path has not been easy. But in the remembering, it helps me to see that He's there in the days ahead. "For this child I prayed" He will give grace. He will give guidance to me, and, as she continues to listen for His voice, He will give guidance to her. I'm so blessed, and so thankful.

Emily will graduate on May 29 from Sheridan High School. She has been accepted at Southern Wesleyan University in Central, SC and will attend there in the fall. She's interested in pursuing Social Work, Music and Missions. I'm praying that God will direct her path and make it straight.